The glass doors whooshed open, and the wave of air conditioning that rolled out was a relief from the late morning heat. A relief for Yonaka anyway, who didn’t much like the heat or the sun. She and Rui entered the clothing store, the former with her silvery new Duel Disk on her arm and the strange, dark ring she had found on her finger.
After serious deliberation, Yonaka had decided that, if she was going to be in the Duel Open and dueling in front of a crowd, her wardrobe would need an upgrade. She was hardly the most fashion-conscious girl, but as any anime character can tell you, a little accessorizing is essential. Anyway, Rui knew a place that was both cheap and relatively trendy, and it happened to be on the way to the Duel Dome, and so they had gone.
Yonaka immediately started investigating anything black, while Rui went looking for something brighter. Since it’s the third chapter and our hero(es) still haven’t had their appearances described, perhaps some time can be taken to do that now.
Yonaka was like a yin-yang symbol: all black and white and nothing in between. Black hair cut short so it was easy to take care of, black eyes whose mood seemed to depend on where you were looking at them from, and skin as white as New Himuka’s famous beaches. She wore black because it went with everything, and if she wasn’t goth, she at least shopped at the same mall, metaphorically speaking. She might have been called plain in a pretty way or pretty in a plain way, depending on your perspective.
Rui was shorter and more gyaru (by genetics, not spray-on tan). Incidentally, because there’s never going to be a better time to bring it up, Rui is trans. Sorry, I’m not very good at weaving in these kinds of details organically.
Yonaka found a promising T-shirt and held it up to her chest. “What do you think?” she asked.
“More black?” Rui complained. “You know we live on a tropical island, right?”
“First of all, it’s a subtropical island. Second of all, black is great when it’s hot. It radiates heat more efficiently.”
“You learned that from Jurassic Park,” said Rui. She meant not the movie but the novel, which was on one of their dad’s many bookshelves. “It’s probably not even true.”
“Sure, but—”
Rui pulled a top she had been looking at off the rack and held it up. It was a hot-pink crop-top.
“You could be wearing something like this. It would look good on you.”
“I don’t think so,” said Yonaka. “But maybe...” she thought for a moment, then pushed the searing pink top over to Rui. “I think you should wear it.”
“No way!” Rui shoved it away.
“Really? I think it would be cute on you.”
“Absolutely not.”
Rui didn’t buy anything pink, and Yonaka only bought black. While they’d been shopping, lunchtime had not only come but started to go, so they crossed the plaza to Hungry Burger, a popular fast food chain.
Little did they know that a meaty, delicious battle awaited them.
* * *
But I’ve skipped a few hours, haven’t I? Let’s roll back the clock to right after Yonaka’s surprise victory over Sarah.
Yonaka had expected her dad to be upset by the outcome of the duel, or at least displeased, but instead he seemed resigned.
“With any game, sometimes you lose, and sometimes...you win,” he said. “That’s how it is.”
“So...I can go?” she asked.
“You can go.”
He took the silver Duel Disk down from the wall and held it out to her. “This was your mother’s. You need a disk of your own. You should have it.”
“My mom’s...?”
Yonaka held the antique device. Her mom must have had it for a while, because it was a lot more than twenty years old. The body was silver, of course, but the trim was dark, and up close the overall effect was slightly sinister. Like all the models of its generation, it was constructed along the same lines as what we would call a Battle City Duel Disk, with a blade that rested in two parts while turned off, which joined together when active.
It was...kind of heavy.
Rui and Yonaka left together — Rui happily setting aside her homework (it was a Sunday, if you were wondering) — with their dad admonishing them to be back by sunset.
It was a short walk to the bus stop. Still getting to used to carrying around a Duel Disk, Yonaka accidentally dropped it along the way. When she picked it up, something rattled inside. She was briefly afraid that she had broken it, but after turning it over and inspecting it for a few seconds, something rolled out of the graveyard slot.
It was a ring, made of a metal the same color as the not-quite-black trim of the Duel Disk. It had a mount for a gemstone, but the stone itself was absent. The Disk didn’t rattle anymore, so wherever the stone was, it had been missing a long time. Even though it was incomplete, Yonaka liked the design and decided to wear it.
Shortly after, the bus arrived. After enjoying New Himuka’s advanced public transportation system, they had more or less caught up with the start of the chapter.
* * *
Hungry Burger was a burger-and-fries fast food chain that had started in New Himuka and spread internationally. Like most good hamburger places, they were famous for their milkshakes, but had succeeded in no small part due to frequent promotional crossovers with Duel Monsters.
Yonaka and Rui both ordered — extra spicy for Rui, regular for Yonaka — and had just sat down with their burgers and shakes when they heard the characteristic whooshes and crashes of Solid Vision emanating from outside. Turning to look out the windows, they could see the holograms of monsters locked in battle. Somebody had started dueling just after they’d come in. By the door was a large sign that proclaimed <BEAT BURGERMAN, WIN FREE BURGERS FOR A YEAR>.
“Free food,” said Rui.
“Free food,” Yonaka agreed, swallowing the last of her burger. They both ran outside, just in time for the final blow to be struck.
“Hungry Burger, attack Power Invader! Big Burger Bite!”
The famous Ritual Monster, made of 100% grade-A ground death, pounced upon the beefy (if you will) extraterrestrial, gobbling it up whole. The Hungry Burger (the monster, not the restaurant) was commanded by none other than Burgerman himself. Burgerman was the mascot of Hungry Burger (the restaurant, not the monster), and he was a man in a suit, tie, and cape, with a hamburger for a head. A crowd was watching the duel, most of them sitting at the restaurant’s outdoor seating.
“Nice try!” Burgerman said to his defeated opponent, a teenage boy. His voice was annoyingly high-pitched and squeaky. “You’ll win next time!”
“Can I go next?” Yonaka asked.
“Burgerman takes on all challengers,” said Burgerman.
“And...you’re Burgerman?”
“Yes!” said Burgerman.
“I wasn’t sure, because you were speaking in third person.”
“It’s an endearing trait!” said Burgerman.
“That’s a matter of opinion,” said Yonaka. They both raised their Duel Disks. “Speed...”
DUEL!
Burgerman LP 4000
—VS—
Yonaka LP 4000
Music To Duel By: Trainer Battle (XD)
Yonaka looked over her opening hand. It was pretty good. She had opened several of her favorite power cards, including Angel Baton and Mirror Force. But it wasn’t her turn yet.
“First, I set a card face-down,” said Burgerman. “And then I play Card Destruction! We both discard and replace our hands.”
He redrew four cards, while Yonaka redrew five.
“Is this supposed to be a reference to your quality assurance standards or something?” she asked. “You know, throwing away our hands?”
“It’s part of my strategy!” he answered.
“Okay.”
“I summon Mystic Tomato,” (ATK 1400) he continued. By the way, this was the TCG art of Mystic Tomato, the one that’s sticking out its tongue. “Turn end!”
Yonaka’s new hand wasn’t nearly as good as her old one. It was heavy on monsters, for one thing. On the other hand, she had drawn the Ritual of Salvation and Destruction, which would be good once her field was ready.
She zeroed in on his facedown card. That was the only card he had played before Card Destruction. It was likely a key part of his strategy. And if it was... Well, it was worth taking a chance.
“I play Psychic Cyclone!” she declared, and a silvery whirlwind appeared around her hand. “With this card, I guess if your facedown is a Spell or a Trap. If I’m right, it gets destroyed and I draw a card, but if I’m wrong then you draw instead. And I predict your facedown is...a Spell!”
The whirlwind flew off her hand and struck the hidden card, revealing it to indeed be a Spell, one she had never heard of called Super Hamburger Recipe. The card shattered.
“Nice guess!” said Burgerman.
“You set it before playing Card Destruction. That meant you wanted to save it, so it was probably a key part of your strategy. And that means it was probably a Spell,” she explained, and drew her prize. It was Tribute to the Doomed. That would be useful later.
“I set a monster and end my turn,” she finished. Her monster was also Mystic Tomato, but unlike him, she wasn’t going to attack with it.
“My turn!” said Burgerman. “I summon Ritual Lettuce!” (ATK 1500)
This creature, or plant, really was just a giant head of lettuce. It didn’t even have cartoon eyes or anything. It was kind of creepy, actually.
“Now, Mystic Tomato attacks your set monster!”
The killer tomato darted forward. Yonaka’s card flipped up, revealing her own tomato (DEF 1100), which incidentally was the OCG version that looks like a jack-o-lantern. Burgerman’s Mystic Tomato took a big bite out of hers, in a scene of cannibalism that would have been incredibly gruesome if it had involved flesh and blood instead of pulp and seeds.
“I summon another Mystic Tomato from my deck to replace the one I lost,” Yonaka said.
“Ritual Lettuce, attack! Lettuce Dance!”
Two lettuce leaves peeled down, becoming legs. The head of lettuce began to pirouette, spinning faster and faster until it become a razor-sharp cyclone of death that divided the new Mystic Tomato into slices of perfect thickness.
Yonaka LP 4000 - 100 = 3900
“I summon Witch of the Black Forest (ATK 1100) this time,” Yonaka said, as the sandwich toppings were replaced by a somber woman with an eye on her forehead and on the clasp of her robe.
“It’s your turn now!” said Burgerman.
Yonaka drew Spellbinding Circle. Now she had some defense, at least. Burgerman meanwhile had none, so this was the perfect time to start attacking.
“I sacrifice Witch of the Black Forest to bring out the Summoned Skull!” (ATK 2500) The witch faded into the earth and was replaced by the far more imposing skeletal demon. “ And when Witch is sent to the graveyard, I can add a monster with low DEF to my hand,” she added, as her Duel Disk located and ejected Magical Undertaker. “Summoned Skull, attack Ritual Lettuce!”
Attacking Mystic Tomato would have done a little more damage, but it would have just replaced itself. The pit fiend conjured up a lightning bolt and fired it at the sentient vegetable. Do you know what happens when a head of lettuce gets struck by lightning? It, um...it croaks. Wait I didn’t set this joke up properly.
Burgerman LP 4000 - 1000 = 3000
“I set a card face-down,” Yonaka lay down Spellbinding Circle, “and end my turn.”
“Here I go!” said Burgerman. “I play Mix Spice Garam Masala. This lets me add three Spell Spices to my hand. I’ll take three Spell Spice - Red Pepper, please!”
“That’s spicy,” Rui volunteered.
“It sure is!” he agreed. “Now I play Magical Leftovers, which can bring back a Level 3 or lower monster for a midnight snack. I’m summoning the Ritual Onion I discarded with Card Destruction!”
This was, as you might expect, a really big onion. Since there are a few different vegetables that get called onions, I guess I should clarify it’s a red onion. (ATK 1500)
“The ingredients have been assembled!” he declared. “I play Hamburger Recipe!”
A fiendish chef appeared. With his spatula, he tossed the Ritual Onion and Mystic Tomato into the sky. What came down was a complete hamburger, which he caught on the spatula and slid onto the field before vanishing.
It was the Hungry Burger. (ATK 2000) The top bun raised, baring sinister fangs. Its red eye — actually one of those little sandwich flags — glowed ravenously.
“Now I play two of my Red Pepper Spices!” Burgerman continued. Hungry Burger opened up, received two heavy doses of red pepper flakes, and then unleashed a cloud of spicy breath on Summoned Skull, which recoiled in discomfort.
Hungry Burger ATK: 2000 + 300 + 300 = 2600
Summoned Skull ATK: 2500 - 300 - 300 = 1900
“I guess Summoned Skull can’t take the heat,” Rui quipped.
“Whose side are you on?” Yonaka asked.
“Yours.”
“Hungry Burger, take a bite out of crime!” Burgerman commanded. “Big Burger Bite!”
“Take a bite out of crime? That doesn’t even apply to this situation,” Yonaka complained as the fiendish burger advanced.
“A free copy of Marron the Crime Dog is available with every purchase of a Kidz Kombo!” Burgerman added. “For a limited time only.”
“Whatever,” Yonaka said. “I activate Spellbinding Circle! Your burger loses 700 ATK, so it ties with Summoned Skull!”
The hexagram of death emerged and surrounded the Hungry Burger, but moments later, it shattered.
“Ritual Onion makes all my Ritual Monsters immune to Traps,” Burgerman explained.
With nothing to impede it, the Hungry Burger chomped down on Summoned Skull, swallowing (?) the demon whole.
Yonaka LP 3900 - 700 = 3200
“I end my turn,” Burgerman said proudly. Hungry Burger’s ATK went back down to 2000. Right now, Yonaka couldn’t beat 2000 ATK. And that Ritual Onion made it immune to Traps...
Oh, she realized, onions are purple like Trap Cards, so that’s why... That Ritual Lettuce would probably make Ritual Monsters immune to Spells, although that depended on if you thought Spell Cards were green or blue.
“I discard Mystical Elf to play Tribute to the Doomed!” she declared. A mummified hand emerged from the earth and dragged Hungry Burger into the bowels of the earth.
“Don’t waste food!” said Burgerman.
“It’s feeding the ants. I set a monster and end my turn,” she said. Burgerman’s field was empty, and she had La Jinn in her hand, which she could have summoned to do damage, but she didn’t feel like attacking right now.
“My turn!” said Burgerman. “I play Magical Mallet, shuffling it and one other card back into my deck and drawing replacements.”
Yonaka guessed (correctly) that he was putting back his last Spell Spice - Red Pepper, which was no use right now.
“I summon Sonic Bird!” (ATK 1400) he continued, and a bird equipped with a jetpack and goggles swooped down onto the field.
“Sonic?” said Rui. “That’s a totally different fast food franchise.”
“No,” said Yonaka. “Sonic is a video game. And he’s a hedgehog, not a bird.”
“You’re both wrong!” said Burgerman. “Sonic Bird adds a Ritual Spell to my hand. And the one I pick is — Super Hamburger Recipe!”
His whole field became a gigantic grill. Then...nothing happened. Which wasn’t all that surprising.
“If you’re summoning Hungry Burger, you need at least six Levels,” Yonaka pointed out.
“I know that!” said Burgerman. “I play Tri-Burger Zone! This brings back three Ritual Ingredients from my graveyard. I summon Ritual Lettuce, Onion, and Bun to the field! And now I use Lettuce and Onion to make my second Hungry Burger!”
The cover of the grill swung down. There was a sizzling sound for a few seconds, and then it opened up to reveal the sequel to that fiendish burger, back to menace the field.
“Next I use Sonic Bird and Ritual Bun to make Hungry Burger #3,” he continued.
“What do you mean ‘next’?” Yonaka asked. “You already Ritual Summoned.”
“Take a look!” Burgerman pointed at the hologram of his Super Hamburger Recipe card. Next to the flame-in-sconce icon of a Ritual Spell was...an infinity symbol?
“A Continuous Ritual Spell?” Yonaka gasped. “I’ve never heard of that. It can’t be!”
“But it is!” Burgerman proclaimed, as the grill opened up to reveal that the burgers had doubled. “And last, I’ll play Fulfillment of the Contract, paying 500 Life Points to bring back my first Hungry Burger (Burgerman LP 3000 - 500 = 2500). For these two Ritual Summons, I used Onion, Lettuce, and Bun. That means all my Ritual Monsters are immune to Traps and Spells, and they all gain 1000 ATK!”
Hungry Burger ATK 2000 + 1000 = 3000
Hungry Burger ATK 2000 + 1000 = 3000
Hungry Burger ATK 2000 + 1000 = 3000
“Did someone order a triple combo?” asked Burgerman.
“Nope,” said Rui.
“How many calories is that?” asked Yonaka.
“All three of my Hungry Burgers now attack! Triple Big Bang Burger Battalion Bite Barrage!”
The first burger rolled in, crushing the miniscule Magical Undertaker beneath the bulk of its bun. However, the Undertaker left behind her briefcase, which opened up and released Witch of the Black Forest, in defense mode (DEF 1200). She didn’t last long, as the second Hungry Burger entered the fray, eating her up in one gulp.
“I add Ancient Lamp to my hand with Witch’s effect,” Yonaka said.
The last Hungry Burger now advanced, chomping down on her with enough force that she fell to her knees.
Yonaka LP 3200 - 3000 = 200
Rui chewed a finger nervously. Yonaka had searched out Ancient Lamp, which was usually a good card when the opponent had multiple monsters out, but wasn’t going to cut it in this situation.
“Nice try!” said Burgerman. He gave a thumbs-up. “You’ll win next time!”
“There’s no next time,” Yonaka said with some effort, picking herself backing up. “Because I got you.”
“The odds of you drawing a card that can reverse this situation are—”
“It’s all right here,” she said, waving the cards in her hand. “But I do need to draw for turn. Oh, it’s Swords of Revealing Light. Does Swords affect monsters?”
“Yes,” said Burgerman.
“So it wouldn’t have worked on your guys, since they're immune to Spells. I summon Ancient Lamp.” (DEF 1400)
The gold lamp appeared on the field, wreathed in vapors.
“Ancient Lamp has two effects,” she explained, pulling another card out of her hand. “The second one lets me special summon La Jinn the Mystical Genie of the Lamp!” (ATK 1800)
The nozzle of the lamp released a cloud of green smoke which coalesced into the form of a muscular man with a turban and long moustache. He crossed his strong arms proudly over his chest.
“Ancient Lamp is Level 3. La Jinn is Level 4. That means I can play the Ritual of Salvation and Destruction!”
Dark clouds gathered overhead, but between them, a heavenly sunlight shone through.
“Ritual of Salvation and Destruction is an unusual Ritual Spell, too,” she said. “What it summons depends on what I sacrifice. I’m sacrificing La Jinn, so...”
The sunlight was obscured. From the clouds descended particles of darknesses that swirled around her two monsters. The Lamp was dissolved completely, while La Jinn spread his arms.
The shadowy particles plunged into his body, and he became taller and broader, transforming into a demon king with clawed hands and a skull-like face. He was decorated with jewelry of conquest, and it was impossible to say where his mighty physique ended and his armor began.
“Garlandolf, King of Destruction will knock you all down!” Yonaka proclaimed. (ATK 2500)
The demon king let out an evil, throaty laugh, and a dark wind burst from his body, wiping out all three Hungry Burgers.
“When he’s summoned, Garlandolf destroys all monsters with DEF lower than his ATK, and gets stronger for each one,” she explained. “Your burgers might have 3000 ATK, but they only have 1850 DEF.”
Garlandolf, King of Destruction: ATK 2500 + (100 x 3) = 2800
“You’re wide open, buddy,” Yonaka said. “Garlandolf, attack directly! Warlock Fist!”
The demon king glided across the field and swung a clawed hand, throwing Burgerman aside like a rag doll.
Burgerman LP 2200 - 2800 = 0
“And so you see that evil will always triumph, because good is dumb,” said Rui.
Burgerman hopped back to his feet and reached into the pocket of his jacket, pulling out a gleaming gold card. Not a Duel Monsters card, but a plastic membership card.
“You have passed the test,” he said seriously. “You have proven yourself worthy of...the Golden Burger Card. Even more prestigious than the Silver, Bronze, and Copper Burger Cards.”
“Thanks,” said Yonaka. “But I’m kind of sick hamburgers right now.”
In all the excitement, none of them noticed a man standing at the edge of the crowd. His eyes were fixed on the ring on Yonaka’s right hand.
* * *
Closing Thoughts
This is the first time a card has had the Life Point loss it causes reduced: Fulfillment of the Contract was changed from an 800 LP payment to 500. Starting next chapter, this is going to be happening with more cards.
As for this chapter, I started writing the first draft in linear (that is, chronological) order. But at a certain point, I simply could not continue. A gift and a curse of mine is that if a passage absolutely, positively, utterly does not work, I can’t write it. The words do not come. And I could not find a sequence of words that would get Yonaka and Rui off the bus and into the store. I can’t tell you why it was impossible, but I can tell you that it was. So I had to go back and reorganize events.
* * *
Card of the Day: Super Hamburger Recipe
I was torn between spotlighting this card or Ritual of Salvation and Destruction, but the latter will show up again, while this is a one-time thing. The concept of a “Continuous Ritual Spell Card” is my own invention, but there are some manga cards which are unusual conglomerates. It actually has a number of Trap Spell Cards, and Stronghold the Moving Fortress takes the cake as a Trap Field Monster.
Super Hamburger Recipe (SPELL)
[Continuous Ritual Spell Card]
Used to ritual summon Hungry Burger. You may make as many burgers as you like.
* * *
Master of the Cards
Ancient Lamp (SP2, ‘01)
La Jinn the Mystical Genie of the Lamp (SDK, ‘99)
Magical Undertaker (YS13, ‘13)
Marron the Crime Dog (Custom)
Mystic Tomato (MRL, ‘00)
Mystical Elf (LOB, ‘99)
Ritual Bun (Custom)
Ritual Lettuce (Custom)
Ritual Onion (Custom)
Sonic Bird (MRL, ‘00)
Summoned Skull (SDY, ‘99)
Witch of the Black Forest (MRD, ‘99)
Angel Baton (5D’s (modded), ‘08)
Card Destruction (SDY, ‘00)
Fulfillment of the Contract (DR3, ‘04)
Hamburger Recipe (MRL, ‘00)
Magical Leftovers (Custom)
Magical Mallet (GX, ‘04)
Mix Spice Garam Masala (GX, ‘05)
Psychic Cyclone (5D’s (modded), ‘08)
Ritual of Salvation and Destruction (Custom)
Spell Spice - Red Pepper [as “Red Pepper Spice”] (GX, ‘05)
Super Hamburger Recipe (Custom)
Swords of Revealing Light (LOB, ‘99)
Tri-Burger Zone (Custom)
Tribute to the Doomed (MRD, ‘99)
Mirror Force (MRD (modded), ‘00)
Spellbinding Circle (DM manga (modded), ‘98)
Garlandolf, King of Destruction (ABPF, ‘09)
Hungry Burger (MRL, ‘00)
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